January Gran'ma Gertie
Howdy Ya’ll!
It Gran’ma again. I been settin’ by the fire all day waitin’ on a nice warm day to get here. Some days, it seems like there never was such a thing. Today’s one of them days. When you git to be my age, January ain’t yer favorite month.
When you git as many years on yer bones as I got, yer bones start arguin’ with you. They start havin’ those ‘Itis Brothers over quite a bit. You know them - Burs Itis, Arthur Itis, and the youngest one, Tendon Itis. I sometimes hurt in places I didn’ remember I even had!
One of my young’uns set me up with a city doctor one time. He had a big, fine fancy office, with purty pictures on the walls and purty plants growin’ in fancy pots. He was real nice, real clean cut, but seemed a might young to suit me. I wondered how he was gonna treat somethin’ he hadn’t experienced yet. He looked, he tugged, pushed, pulled and bent everything I had. Then he gave me his diagnosis (which I already knew and had told him), and give me a prescription. I got some kind of pills that didn’t do anything ‘cept make my stomach hurt. When I called him and told him, all he could say was that at my age, I had to expect some things to hurt.
I ain’t never went back to that young doctor. I jest cain’t see puttin’ out good money fer someone to tell me somethin’ I already know. I probly know more about doctorin’ than he does. I brought my young’uns into this world, and raised’em quite healthy. Ain’t none of them got any problems now. They didn’t have many comin’ up, either!
I know that oatmeal in tub of jest warm water helps take the itch out of chicken pox. I know that a sock full of warm salt is good to put on an earache. I know that turpentine and sugar mixed jest right is good fer the croup. So is a good mustard plaster. I ain’t never been one to drink, but if you mix a jigger of red likker, the juice of one lemon, and a tablespoon of wild honey, heat it up, drink it hot, and stay under the covers, you’re on your way to feelin’ better from a bad cold or the flu. After drinkin’ these toddies every 2 to 3 hours, either they start workin’ or yer too drunk to care! Either way, you feel a lot better. I know you can put a whole clove in just enough hot water to soffen it and put it on a bad tooth. The clove will make it go numb.
If’n you got a baby that’s teethin’, boil about 30 whole cloves in about half a cup of water, add about a teaspoon of sugar, strain it and cool it, and you got yerself some real good teethin’ medicine. A lot people don’t know it, but babies don’t like loud noise. I ain’t talkin’ about just one loud noise, like a clap, but noise like from an old fan or vacuum cleaner. If you got a colicky baby, lay him down and put the noisy thing right in the room with him. Turn it on, and within a few minutes, your baby’ll be sleepin away! Speakin’ of babies, if yours has a problem with a diaper rash, try givin’ him some diluted cranberry juice, and powder that bottom with plain ol’ cornstarch. Babies ain’t got to be no harder than you make them. Keep ‘em dry, fed and loved, and they do jest fine. Before you know it, they’re grown.
As fer my visitin’ Itus Brothers, I jest mix up a little eucalyptus oil (I get mine from the corner drug store in town), and a little lard, rub it on whatever part is hurtin’, and wrap it up fer a few hours. It’ll usually help the stiffness. It’s either that or the fact that I won’t give in to it. I got things to do. I ain’t got time to sit on my bottom and see if’n it’ll get better. I’m afraid the day I give in, Gran’pa better start makin’ arraingments with the undertaker!
I wonder how that young doctor will feel when he gets to be my age? How will he feel if some young hotshot tells him to expect things to hurt? Truthfully, I don’t reckon he’ll see the years I have. He don’t work hard enough to keep his body strong. He prob’ly eats the wrong stuff like all the other young’uns. He prob’ly worries too much about things he cain’t control. He’d be one of the ones that jest sits down and quits ‘cause somethin’ hurts. Seems such a shame, don’t you think?
I guess I’d better get up and get movin’ about. It’s still too cold to do anything in the yard or the garden. I guess I’ll go feed up fer the evenin’ and bring in a load or two of wood. We had a real red sunset so it’s gonna be cold tonight, and I need a big fire. Gran’pa jest ain’t big enough to keep a big woman like me warm!
“Till next time,
Gran’ma Gertie
It Gran’ma again. I been settin’ by the fire all day waitin’ on a nice warm day to get here. Some days, it seems like there never was such a thing. Today’s one of them days. When you git to be my age, January ain’t yer favorite month.
When you git as many years on yer bones as I got, yer bones start arguin’ with you. They start havin’ those ‘Itis Brothers over quite a bit. You know them - Burs Itis, Arthur Itis, and the youngest one, Tendon Itis. I sometimes hurt in places I didn’ remember I even had!
One of my young’uns set me up with a city doctor one time. He had a big, fine fancy office, with purty pictures on the walls and purty plants growin’ in fancy pots. He was real nice, real clean cut, but seemed a might young to suit me. I wondered how he was gonna treat somethin’ he hadn’t experienced yet. He looked, he tugged, pushed, pulled and bent everything I had. Then he gave me his diagnosis (which I already knew and had told him), and give me a prescription. I got some kind of pills that didn’t do anything ‘cept make my stomach hurt. When I called him and told him, all he could say was that at my age, I had to expect some things to hurt.
I ain’t never went back to that young doctor. I jest cain’t see puttin’ out good money fer someone to tell me somethin’ I already know. I probly know more about doctorin’ than he does. I brought my young’uns into this world, and raised’em quite healthy. Ain’t none of them got any problems now. They didn’t have many comin’ up, either!
I know that oatmeal in tub of jest warm water helps take the itch out of chicken pox. I know that a sock full of warm salt is good to put on an earache. I know that turpentine and sugar mixed jest right is good fer the croup. So is a good mustard plaster. I ain’t never been one to drink, but if you mix a jigger of red likker, the juice of one lemon, and a tablespoon of wild honey, heat it up, drink it hot, and stay under the covers, you’re on your way to feelin’ better from a bad cold or the flu. After drinkin’ these toddies every 2 to 3 hours, either they start workin’ or yer too drunk to care! Either way, you feel a lot better. I know you can put a whole clove in just enough hot water to soffen it and put it on a bad tooth. The clove will make it go numb.
If’n you got a baby that’s teethin’, boil about 30 whole cloves in about half a cup of water, add about a teaspoon of sugar, strain it and cool it, and you got yerself some real good teethin’ medicine. A lot people don’t know it, but babies don’t like loud noise. I ain’t talkin’ about just one loud noise, like a clap, but noise like from an old fan or vacuum cleaner. If you got a colicky baby, lay him down and put the noisy thing right in the room with him. Turn it on, and within a few minutes, your baby’ll be sleepin away! Speakin’ of babies, if yours has a problem with a diaper rash, try givin’ him some diluted cranberry juice, and powder that bottom with plain ol’ cornstarch. Babies ain’t got to be no harder than you make them. Keep ‘em dry, fed and loved, and they do jest fine. Before you know it, they’re grown.
As fer my visitin’ Itus Brothers, I jest mix up a little eucalyptus oil (I get mine from the corner drug store in town), and a little lard, rub it on whatever part is hurtin’, and wrap it up fer a few hours. It’ll usually help the stiffness. It’s either that or the fact that I won’t give in to it. I got things to do. I ain’t got time to sit on my bottom and see if’n it’ll get better. I’m afraid the day I give in, Gran’pa better start makin’ arraingments with the undertaker!
I wonder how that young doctor will feel when he gets to be my age? How will he feel if some young hotshot tells him to expect things to hurt? Truthfully, I don’t reckon he’ll see the years I have. He don’t work hard enough to keep his body strong. He prob’ly eats the wrong stuff like all the other young’uns. He prob’ly worries too much about things he cain’t control. He’d be one of the ones that jest sits down and quits ‘cause somethin’ hurts. Seems such a shame, don’t you think?
I guess I’d better get up and get movin’ about. It’s still too cold to do anything in the yard or the garden. I guess I’ll go feed up fer the evenin’ and bring in a load or two of wood. We had a real red sunset so it’s gonna be cold tonight, and I need a big fire. Gran’pa jest ain’t big enough to keep a big woman like me warm!
“Till next time,
Gran’ma Gertie
posted by Dorothy Taylor @ 6:53 AM
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