New Styles

Big Britches

Where are them so called fashion police when ya need’em? I went to the mall the other day with one of the young’uns and jest about couldn’t believe what some of the young’uns was wearin’. I wondered if’n their mamas and daddies knew they’d left the house lookin’ the way they did.

How did it ever become a style to wear the biggest britches you could find? How come nobody wears clothes that fit? I seen boys with britches so big they had to hold’em up whilst they was walkin’ along. The waist on them britches had to be a quite a few inches too big, and the seat of them britches was down around their knees! That cain’t be comfortable, no way, no how. What are they supposed to do when they gotta turn loose of their britches to hold somethin’ er open a door? Jest let the britches fall slap off I reckon. I cain’t figer out how they even walk with the straddle down around their knees, much less sit er git in er out of a car.

Now, I know this may sound crude, but I asked one of the young fellers I know what the big deal was with all these big britches. He told me that he liked the “freedom” these big britches give’im in his down there area. Now let me tell ya, I’m a married woman and I’ve raised boys myself. I know how men folks are concernin’ the size of their down there area. Not one single down there area that I’ve ever seen was so big it needs that much room to feel free!

And why is it they think ever body wants to know what kinda drawers they’re wearin’? I could care less if yer junior has drawers with flames er dice er some cartoon character on’em. I cain’t tell ya what my own sons is wearin’, so why would I want to know what yer son’s a wearin’? Make him pull his britches up!

I know I can blame a bunch of this on the parents. A young’un that’s 13, 14, 15 years old simply ain’t the got the money to go buy his own clothes, so that means mama and daddy are buyin’ these big britches. If’n ya’ll quit buyin’em, the young’uns cain’t wear’em. If’n the young’un has a job, he may have the money to buy this kind of mess, but as a parent, ain’t you supposed to be teachin’ and guidin’ your young‘uns? Puttin’ restrictions where it’s needed? Makin’ rules to go by?

Have parents simply lost their backbone and decided to let their young’uns get away with anything they want to? Parents aught to know what their young’un looks like before they let’em go somewhere, and set some ground rules as to what’s allowed and what ain‘t, then stand by it. As a parent, ain’t you supposed to teach yer young’un how to be presentable and respectful? How respectful is it to show the whole public yer drawers? If I had tried to wear some of the stuff I see now, my mama would have right fast like told me that I weren’t goin’ nowhere lookin’ like that! She’d have said the same thing to my brother, so it weren’t jest cause I was a girl. And, she’d have stuck by what she said.

Teeny Tiny Drawers

Along with all the low cut britches the young gals is wearin’ lately, I’ve seen somethin’ else. Teeny-tiny drawers stickin’ out of the top of the britches. These things ain’t no more than a string running right down the crack of the gals behind. I saw some of’em on the rack at the store, and I declare, I’ve got hankerchiefs that have more material than them drawers! Will someone tell me what the purpose of these drawers is? They sure ain’t coverin’ nothin’, so it cain’t be that.

I know I’m old, and I know that my generation didn’t have a lot of choice as to what kind of drawers we had, but these things are jest plain silly. They don’t cover nothin’ and there ain’t no way these things can be comfortable. Even doctors has said these things weren’t good fer a woman to wear. These kind of drawers can cause all kinds of infections and stuff. Most doctors will tell ya that plain old white cotton drawers are best. They got enough styles now that you don’t have to wear what most people call granny panties. You can get plain white cotton in bikinis and high cut legs and jest about any other style, even ones that look like a boys drawers.

When colored drawers first came out, they was thought to be awful, only “those” type women would wear a pair of colored drawers. After that came drawers made out of material other than plain cotton. Then, they came out with the bikini kind, and it seems it’s went downhill fast from there. How come women buy this kind of stuff? I’ve already established that it cain’t be fer comfort, so that’s out. Is it because they want to be in style, even if it ain’t comfortable? Is it because they figer if they don‘t wear what the high fashion people tell‘em to, they’ll be thought of as out of style? Old? Not “with it”? Have we lost our senses? Why do we allow some hot shot in New York City or Paris, France tell us what we aught to wear?

Women have been slaves to fashion fer as long as there’s been such a thing as fashion. We’ve worn corsets so tight we couldn’t even breath right. We’ve worn shoes that hurt cause either they were pointy toed and too tight, er they had heels like spike nails. We’ve worn jest about anything imaginable jest cause it was the latest fad and supposed to be in style. I think it’s about time we started payin’ more attention to what’s comfortable and less about the fashion world. When the fashion world gits so bad that they invent a pair of drawers that ain’t nothin’ but string that goes up your butt, it’s definitely time fer a big change!

Push-ups and Tie-Downs

Speakin’ of drawers, what’s goin’ on with bras these days? Used to, a brassier was to keep yer boobies up where they belonged and fer modesty. They were made fer a purpose, and it showed in the way they were made. They were plain, simple, and undecorated. There ain’t nothin’ modest about a lot of the bras made now. Some of’em barely cover anything at all! They’ve got’em in ever color of the rainbow, some lacy, some frilly, some with skinny straps, some with criss-cross straps, and some with no straps at all. Heck, I even seen a package for a stick-on bra.! A bra that jest sticks on kinda underneath yer boobies like a band aid! Now do you think I’m gonna believe a stick on bra is gonna do anything that a bra was designed to do?

It’s bad enough that some mean twisted yo-yo invented a bra with enough wire in it to string a fence, but now they got the ones I call tie downs that try and mash a woman flat and keep ever thing from even jigglin’. I’m sorry, but the way our bodies is made, our boobies are gonna jiggle. It’s jest natural. It may make a few women a bit self conscious, but unless a woman is tryin’ to make’em jiggle on purpose, I don’t see what the big deal is. To sum it up - natural boobies jiggle and natural boobies don’t sit under yer neck. Quit tryin’ to change that.